cinaed

With John/Elizabeth and Rodney/Radek. :) Also, taking memorable quotes from movies on IMDb and inserting SGA characters instead is FUN.

The Matrix

Ronon: Here you go, buddy; "Breakfast of Champions."
Rodney: If you close your eyes, it almost feels like you're eating runny eggs.
Ronon: Yeah, or a bowl of snot.
Rodney: Do you know what it really reminds me of? Tasty Wheat. Did you ever eat Tasty Wheat?
Radek: No, but technically, neither did you.
Rodney: That's exactly my point. Exactly. Because you have to wonder: how do the machines know what Tasty Wheat tasted like? Maybe they got it wrong. Maybe what I think Tasty Wheat tasted like actually tasted like oatmeal, or tuna fish. That makes you wonder about a lot of things. You take chicken, for example: maybe they couldn't figure out what to make chicken taste like, which is why chicken tastes like everything.

Ronon: We're supposed to start with these operation programs first. That's major boring shit. Let's do something a little more fun. How about... combat training.
John: Ju jitsu? I'm gonna learn Ju jitsu.
[Ronon winks and loads the program]
John: Holy shit!
Ronon: Hey, I think he likes it. How about some more?
John: Hell, yes. Hell yeah.

Agent Kolya: We're willing to wipe the slate clean, give you a fresh start. All that we're asking in return is your cooperation in bringing a known terrorist to justice.
John: Yeah. Well, that sounds like a pretty good deal. But I think I may have a better one. How about, I give you the finger
[He does]
John: and you give me my phone call.

Galaxy Quest

Rodney: I played Richard III.
Radek: Five curtain calls...
Rodney: There were five curtain calls. I was an actor once, damn it. Now look at me. Look at me! I won't go out there and say that stupid line one more time.

John: Am I too late for Rodney's panic attack?
[Rodney hides his face in despair]
John: Apparently not.

Elizabeth: Radek, you had a part people loved. I mean, my TV Guide interview was six paragraphs about my BOOBS and how they fit into my suit. No one bothered to ask me what I do on the show.
Radek: You were... umm, wait...
Elizabeth: I repeated the computer, Radek.

Announcer: [announcing Rodney] Give him a hand folks, he's Canadian.

Brendan Gall: I changed my mind. I wanna go back.
Rodney: After the fuss you made about getting left behind?
Brendan Gall: Yeah, but that's when I thought I was the crewman that stays on the ship, and something is up there, and it kills me. But now I'm thinking I'm the guy who gets killed by some monster five minutes after we land on the planet.
John: You're not gonna die on the planet, Brendan.
Brendan Gall: I'm not? Then what's my last name?
John: It's, uh, uh - -I don't know.
Brendan Gall: Nobody knows. Do you know why? Because my character isn't important enough for a last name, because I'm gonna die five minutes in.
Elizabeth: Brendan, you have a last name.
Brendan Gall: DO I? DO I? For all you know, I'm "Crewman Number Six"! Mommy... mommy...
Rodney: Are we there yet?

Rodney: You're just going to have to figure out what it wants. What is its motivation?
John: It's a rock monster. It doesn't have motivation.
Rodney: See, that's your problem, Sheppard. You were never serious about the craft.

[after fake fighting]
John: You used to pull your punches.
Rodney: It's "Scene-Stealing Hack," thank you.
John: "Raving Egomaniac"?
Rodney: Can't think where I got THAT from.

Brendan Gall: I'm just a glorified extra, Radek. I'm a dead man anyway. If I'm gonna die, I'd rather go out a hero than a coward.
Radek: Brendan, Brendan... maybe you're the plucky comic relief. You ever think about that?
Brendan Gall: Plucky?

John: You know, what I could really use here is a cup holder and a couple of Advil.

Radek: Hey guys, I just wanted you to know that, the reactors won't take it; the ship is breaking apart and all that... Just FYI.

Radek: Hey, Commander. Listen, we found some beryllium on a nearby planet. And we might be able to get there if we reconfigure the solar matrix in parallel for endothermic propulsion.
John: We'll do that!
Brendan Gall: All right!
Radek: [to his engineering team] That's right again. That's... come on, group hug.

[Radek tries to digitize the pig-lizard with disastrous results]
John: What? What was that?
Rodney: Uh, nothing.
John: I heard some squealing or something.
Elizabeth: Oh, no. Everything's fine.
Keras: But the animal is inside out.
John: I heard that! It turned inside out?
[the pig-lizard explodes]
Keras: And it exploded.
John: Did I just hear that the animal turned inside out, and then is EXPLODED?

The Italian Job

[introducing Teyla to his partners]
Rodney: That's Radek. He's my computer genius. You know he's who really invented Napster? At least that's how Radek tells it. Said Shawn Fanning was his roommate in college and stole his idea. I think it's his first time riding that bike, though.
Radek: Hey.
[Radek falls over]
Rodney: You okay?
Radek: Yeah.
[a car drives up]
Rodney: That's Laura. Demolition and explosives. When she was ten, she put one too many M-80s in the toilet bowl... lost the hearing in her right ear. She's been blowing stuff up ever since.
[a car zooms in from behind Rodney and Teyla]
Rodney: Handsome Johnny. Premier wheel man. Once drove all the way from Los Angeles just so he could set the record for longest freeway chase. You know he got 110 love letters sent to his jail cell from women who saw him on the news?

Radek: And then he's just the media darling... He's on the cover of all the magazines, I should of been on the cover of wired magazine. you know what he said? he said he named it Napster because it was his nickname because of the nappy hair under the hat. But he, It's because I was NAPPING when he STOLE it from me. He didn't even graduate.
Handsome Johnny: I think it's time to move on, don't you? They shut him down, I wish they would do the same to you.

Handsome Johnny: Come on, Rodney. They were at the same college at the same time.
Rodney: Why are you encouraging this?

Radek: You want all greens? 'Cause, ah, 'cause you got 'em.
[chuckles]
Rodney: What have you got?
Radek: Welcome to L.A.'s Automated Traffic Surveillance and Control Operations Center. See, they use video feeds from intersections and specifically designed algorithms to predict traffic conditions, and thereby control traffic lights. So all I did was come up with my own... kick ass algorithm to sneak in, and now we own the place.
Rodney: You want to do a dry run?
Radek: [singsong] I thought you'd never ask.

[As they are dangling from under the road way, after Cadman's gotten all the explosives in place, and is about to insert the detonater]
Laura: Just give me a minute.
Rodney: [impatiently] NOW?
Laura: I'm about to insert this detonator tube, and if the brass touches the sides, you and I will be the last people each of us will see.
Rodney: Take all the time you need.