Poem for National Poetry Month

[cinaed]

“The Old Way”

It is the old way that girls
get even with their fathers –
by wrecking their bodies on other men.
-Louise Erdrich

I want to destroy myself, be destroyed,
wreck myself upon the coral reefs that are other men’s hearts,
take my revenge in the old way
and make you weep for your daughter's loss of innocence.
But it seems like I see your face on every man I meet,
or I don't and then they suddenly tilt their head the way you do,
or they laugh at their own jokes like you do,
or they do the same passive-aggressive bullshit you do,
and I can't bring myself to wreck myself on a man so similar to you.

Still, I want to test for myself the sharpness of love,
see if I am my mother and choose a man who transforms over thirty years
and betrays me. Who knows, maybe I'll pick an old-soul, a good man
who will love me long after the world has fallen to ashes,
who will save me from myself and all my self-destructive tendencies,
my lack of common sense and my passive-aggressiveness that I got from you.
Maybe I will try to wreck myself on coral to bleed like so many others before me,
and wash up on a safe shore instead.

Comments

[ic789.livejournal.com]

Really lovely, painful, but lovely. I'll say it again, you ought to strongly consider writing song lyrics for a living, or great money on the side. :) Cheers.

[cinaed.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I hope the poem came across less melancholy than it does to me.

*eyes poems* I really should try getting a few of them published, make some money. *will check out poetry magazines over the summer*