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cinaedAce: Hey, I need to file my state and federal tax returns before I go back to college.
Mom: Great! Here's an advertisement in the newspaper that says if you go to the IRS webpage, you can e-file your state and federal returns for FREE. It even says no hidden fees! Here, use TurboTax!
Ace: Yay! *goes to TurboTax website and basks in the shiny glow of FREE* Okay, let me grab my W2 form and get this done! It shouldn't take too long! *begins to fill out the online form*
...a half-hour later
Ace: *stares at the endless list of questions* No, I did not donate money to a charity or politician. Look, I just want my money back, please. Enough with the questions!
TurboTax website: ...So, have you had jury duty this year?
Ace: *whimpers a little and keeps on answering stupid questions*
...a little while later
Ace: Aha! Finished! Okay, now just to file it for free-- wait, a $55 fee? What the fuck? That isn't free!
TurboTax website: *cheerfully* Actually, if you look at the small print, only your federal tax return is free. The state tax return has a $30 fee AND since you wanted it to go directly into your bank account, there was a second $25 fee. So you need to give us $55 before we file your returns.
Ace: But-- but-- "no hidden fees" and, and FREE--
TurboTax: But the fees aren't hidden! They're very clearly on the front page in the tiny print in the corner.
Ace: But, free--
TurboTax: Give us all your money, now.
Ace: Oh, fuck all that in the ear. *cancels and goes to the IRS website* What? All the websites have a, "free! (except for the $10/$20/$30 state tax refund fee, but pay no attention to that)" disclaimer. You LIED to me, government! You LIED. What's next, there really WEREN'T Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq?
Mom: *glares a little, enough to point out she is, in fact, Republican* ...Just file the damn taxes, dear.
Ace: *hangs head and goes to the $10 site, muttering darkly under breath and answering the same endless questions as on the TurboTax site*
...a little while later
Ace: Aha! Finished! And it only took me-- two hours? Fucking hell.
Mom: Oh, you're done? Wonderful! Now you can help your brother file his!
Ace: ...Woe.
TJ: *files his taxes in thirty minutes* This was easy! Why were you so pissed off and complaining earlier?
Ace: ...I hate you all.
Maggie: *chews on TJ's W2 form, tail twitching*
Ace: *pats fondly and pretends not to notice that the cat bites at her hand instead* That's right, Maggie, stick it to the Man.
Mom: Great! Here's an advertisement in the newspaper that says if you go to the IRS webpage, you can e-file your state and federal returns for FREE. It even says no hidden fees! Here, use TurboTax!
Ace: Yay! *goes to TurboTax website and basks in the shiny glow of FREE* Okay, let me grab my W2 form and get this done! It shouldn't take too long! *begins to fill out the online form*
...a half-hour later
Ace: *stares at the endless list of questions* No, I did not donate money to a charity or politician. Look, I just want my money back, please. Enough with the questions!
TurboTax website: ...So, have you had jury duty this year?
Ace: *whimpers a little and keeps on answering stupid questions*
...a little while later
Ace: Aha! Finished! Okay, now just to file it for free-- wait, a $55 fee? What the fuck? That isn't free!
TurboTax website: *cheerfully* Actually, if you look at the small print, only your federal tax return is free. The state tax return has a $30 fee AND since you wanted it to go directly into your bank account, there was a second $25 fee. So you need to give us $55 before we file your returns.
Ace: But-- but-- "no hidden fees" and, and FREE--
TurboTax: But the fees aren't hidden! They're very clearly on the front page in the tiny print in the corner.
Ace: But, free--
TurboTax: Give us all your money, now.
Ace: Oh, fuck all that in the ear. *cancels and goes to the IRS website* What? All the websites have a, "free! (except for the $10/$20/$30 state tax refund fee, but pay no attention to that)" disclaimer. You LIED to me, government! You LIED. What's next, there really WEREN'T Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq?
Mom: *glares a little, enough to point out she is, in fact, Republican* ...Just file the damn taxes, dear.
Ace: *hangs head and goes to the $10 site, muttering darkly under breath and answering the same endless questions as on the TurboTax site*
...a little while later
Ace: Aha! Finished! And it only took me-- two hours? Fucking hell.
Mom: Oh, you're done? Wonderful! Now you can help your brother file his!
Ace: ...Woe.
TJ: *files his taxes in thirty minutes* This was easy! Why were you so pissed off and complaining earlier?
Ace: ...I hate you all.
Maggie: *chews on TJ's W2 form, tail twitching*
Ace: *pats fondly and pretends not to notice that the cat bites at her hand instead* That's right, Maggie, stick it to the Man.
