Mar. 15th, 2008

Quotations

Mar. 15th, 2008 10:17 am
cinaed: This fic was supposed to be short (Annoyed Hutch (Starsky and Hutch))
I can't believe in the God of my Fathers. If there is one Mind which understands all things, it will comprehend me in my unbelief. I don't know whose hand hung Hesperus in the sky, and fixed the Dog Star, and scattered the shining dust of Heaven, and fired the sun, and froze the darkness between the lonely worlds that spin in space.

Gerald Kersh

*

Fortune can, for her pleasure, fools advance,
And toss them on the wheels of Chance.


Juvenal

*

Man is never honestly the fatalist, nor even the stoic. He fights his fate, often desperately. He is forever entering bold exceptions to the rulings of the bench of gods. This fighting, no doubt, makes for human progress, for it favors the strong and the brave. It also makes for beauty, for lesser men try to escape from a hopeless and intolerable world by creating a more lovely one of their own.

H.L. Mencken

*

Be as decent as you can. Don't believe without evidence. Treat things divine with marked respect -- don't have anything to do with them. Do not trust humanity without collateral security; it will play you some scurvy trick. Remember that it hurts no one to be treated as an enemy entitled to respect until he shall prove himself a friend worthy of affection. Cultivate a taste for distasteful truths. And, finally, most important of all, endeavor to see things as they are, not as they ought to be.

Ambrose Bierce

*

"Curiosity killed the cat," said Hector, who was a little embarrassed by the turn the conversation had taken; nevertheless, he wanted to show himself a man's man, and something witty seemed called for.

"I deny that," said Cobbler; "the cat probably died a happy martyr to research."


Robertson Davies in "Tempest-Tost"
cinaed: This fic was supposed to be short (Scruffy Hero (Radek Zelenka))
Ace: Hey, I need to file my state and federal tax returns before I go back to college.
Mom: Great! Here's an advertisement in the newspaper that says if you go to the IRS webpage, you can e-file your state and federal returns for FREE. It even says no hidden fees! Here, use TurboTax!
Ace: Yay! *goes to TurboTax website and basks in the shiny glow of FREE* Okay, let me grab my W2 form and get this done! It shouldn't take too long! *begins to fill out the online form*

...a half-hour later

Ace: *stares at the endless list of questions* No, I did not donate money to a charity or politician. Look, I just want my money back, please. Enough with the questions!
TurboTax website: ...So, have you had jury duty this year?
Ace: *whimpers a little and keeps on answering stupid questions*

...a little while later

Ace: Aha! Finished! Okay, now just to file it for free-- wait, a $55 fee? What the fuck? That isn't free!
TurboTax website: *cheerfully* Actually, if you look at the small print, only your federal tax return is free. The state tax return has a $30 fee AND since you wanted it to go directly into your bank account, there was a second $25 fee. So you need to give us $55 before we file your returns.
Ace: But-- but-- "no hidden fees" and, and FREE--
TurboTax: But the fees aren't hidden! They're very clearly on the front page in the tiny print in the corner.
Ace: But, free--
TurboTax: Give us all your money, now.
Ace: Oh, fuck all that in the ear. *cancels and goes to the IRS website* What? All the websites have a, "free! (except for the $10/$20/$30 state tax refund fee, but pay no attention to that)" disclaimer. You LIED to me, government! You LIED. What's next, there really WEREN'T Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq?
Mom: *glares a little, enough to point out she is, in fact, Republican* ...Just file the damn taxes, dear.
Ace: *hangs head and goes to the $10 site, muttering darkly under breath and answering the same endless questions as on the TurboTax site*

...a little while later

Ace: Aha! Finished! And it only took me-- two hours? Fucking hell.
Mom: Oh, you're done? Wonderful! Now you can help your brother file his!
Ace: ...Woe.
TJ: *files his taxes in thirty minutes* This was easy! Why were you so pissed off and complaining earlier?
Ace: ...I hate you all.
Maggie: *chews on TJ's W2 form, tail twitching*
Ace: *pats fondly and pretends not to notice that the cat bites at her hand instead* That's right, Maggie, stick it to the Man.

Profile

cinaed: This fic was supposed to be short (Default)
cinaed

July 2025

S M T W T F S
  1234 5
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031  

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jul. 14th, 2025 12:20 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios