*facepalm*
Feb. 13th, 2007 02:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cinaedYou know, I really need to figure out that writing a bit of an AU will not get it out of my system, will in fact just provide kindling for the flame, and...I'm blaming Thomas Malory for this. If he'd made Le Morte Darthur more interesting, I wouldn't have gotten into the discussion with ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
blue_raven about Sheppard being Arthur.
"Your Majesty."
John glanced up from polishing Excalibur and sighed at the expression on his seneschal's face. "What is Rodney doing now?"
"Terrorizing the queen again," Evan informed him. One corner of his mouth twitched, but John couldn't tell if Evan was struggling to keep from frowning or smiling. Probably the latter, since Evan and Rodney seemed united in their odd and totally unreasonable dislike of the queen.
John sighed again. "Of course he is. I'll go tell him to stop." He raised an eyebrow. "You could try to stop himself yourself at some point, you know."
Evan smiled blandly. "And have Rodney turn me into something unpleasant, like a toad? Please, sire. I leave dealing with sorcerers and queens to you."
"I would make him change you back," John said, and shook his head when Evan's smile turned wry. "And you could call me John, you know. You used to."
His foster-brother looked amused at that. "Yes, Your Majesty. The queen and Rodney are in the banquet hall."
"Right," John said, setting down Excalibur.
*
John could hear the argument before he could see it, his pace faltering ever so slightly at the sound of their equally loud and abrasive voices. Given, Chaya only sounded abrasive when she was bickering with Rodney, whereas Rodney sounded abrasive almost constantly, but John could already feel a headache forming between his eyes.
"--would turn you into a newt, if I didn't think John would make me turn you back!" Rodney snapped, and John could just picture the eye-roll Chaya was directing at Rodney for that.
"Oh, please, you couldn't turn me into a newt if you wanted to," she said. "Everyone knows you made up that lie about your father being a devil just so you could terrorize the courtiers and make them stop asking you pointless questions. You're just a good guesser--"
"Oh, I am so turning you into a newt!" Rodney all but snarled, and John sighed before he pushed open the doors to the banquet hall.
"Turn who into a what?" he said mildly, and Rodney turned his glare towards him, face flushed and eyes flashing, mouth pressed into a thin, hard line of fury. John folded his arms against his chest and raised an eyebrow. "I thought we talked about this, Rodney. No turning people, especially royalty, into things."
"She'd deserve it," Rodney said, sulkily, and Chaya rolled her eyes.
John kept his eyebrow raised. "Uh-huh. Just like you deserve the Lady of the Lake's undying love and affection."
Rodney's scowl deepened. "Samantha just doesn't see how perfect we'd be together--"
"Oh," John interrupted, making his tone as casual as possible, "and Radek's in your tower again."
Rodney's expression shifted to one of surprise mixed with exasperation. "Again? I told him last time not to mess with my experiments. God, he's going to turn himself into a newt by accident, that idiot. He's supposed to be a knight and do stupid knightly things, not poke and prod things in my tower--" And then he was gone, brushing past John and muttering under his breath.
Chaya was silent for a moment, and then tilted her head. "Is Sir Radek actually in the tower?"
John shrugged. "There's a pretty good chance he is. The tournament begins tomorrow, and he always tries to hide for the week prior, so no one will try and challenge him to a joust. And the best place to hide in the castle is the tower."
She frowned at that. "Why is he a knight again?"
John could only shrug.
*
Rodney burst into his laboratory, and scowled at the familiar sight of a certain knight peering curiously into one of the numerous cauldrons. "Didn't we discuss last time that my experiments are dangerous and that you're not allowed in here?" he demanded.
Radek raised his gaze and blinked at him. "Did we? I wasn't listening," he said mildly. "Just as you do not seem to listen whenever the king tells you to leave Queen Chaya alone."
"How did you--" Rodney began, frowning, and then rolled his eyes as Radek silently pointed at the scrying mirror next to the door. "Yes, well, that's different." At Radek's raised eyebrow, he scowled. "I don't have to explain how it's different."
"Of course you don't," Radek said, voice just as mild as before, and then peered closer at the bubbling contents of the cauldron. "What are you concocting?"
"What? Oh, that's, uh." Rodney squinted at the lavender liquid. "I think that's for invisibility. Either that, or it'll kill anyone who gets a drop of the stuff on them." Okay, it was really the former, but Radek didn't need to know that. He needed to think that everything in the room was deadly so he would leave. "Shouldn't you be off doing knightly things or something?"
Radek looked suddenly sour. "I will be doing enough knightly things at the tournament, thank you. Two people have challenged me to a joust."
Rodney snorted. "Only because they knew they could beat you, since you're the worst knight around."
Radek looked even more sour. "Thank you, Rodney, for your support. I am well aware that I am not the best knight of the Round Table."
"More like the--" Rodney began, and stopped at the knight's narrowed eyes. "You really are wasted as a knight, though. You have the blood of the Seelie Court in you, you could have easily been a halfway decent sorcerer. Not a sorcerer of my level, of course, but a decent enough one."
"Yes, well, perhaps had I not been the son of one of the Six Kings, and had my mother not been forced to send me to the king to appease his wrath, I might have been allowed to dabble in magic," Radek said, dryly. "As it stands, however, I am a knight of the Round Table. Not a particularly skilled knight, true, but I do my best and follow the code of chivalry." He turned towards one of the other cauldrons. "What is in this one?"
Rodney blinked at the green liquid that was threatening to overflow. "Honestly? I have no idea."
John Sheppard = Arthur
Rodney McKay = Merlin
Chaya = Guinevere
Evan Lorne = Kay
Radek Zelenka = random knight (maybe a not-so-perfect version of Gawain)
Samantha Carter = the Lady of the Lake
...I can hear you laughing all the way from over here, Bubbles. Shut up. *eyes*
blue_raven about Sheppard being Arthur. "Your Majesty."
John glanced up from polishing Excalibur and sighed at the expression on his seneschal's face. "What is Rodney doing now?"
"Terrorizing the queen again," Evan informed him. One corner of his mouth twitched, but John couldn't tell if Evan was struggling to keep from frowning or smiling. Probably the latter, since Evan and Rodney seemed united in their odd and totally unreasonable dislike of the queen.
John sighed again. "Of course he is. I'll go tell him to stop." He raised an eyebrow. "You could try to stop himself yourself at some point, you know."
Evan smiled blandly. "And have Rodney turn me into something unpleasant, like a toad? Please, sire. I leave dealing with sorcerers and queens to you."
"I would make him change you back," John said, and shook his head when Evan's smile turned wry. "And you could call me John, you know. You used to."
His foster-brother looked amused at that. "Yes, Your Majesty. The queen and Rodney are in the banquet hall."
"Right," John said, setting down Excalibur.
John could hear the argument before he could see it, his pace faltering ever so slightly at the sound of their equally loud and abrasive voices. Given, Chaya only sounded abrasive when she was bickering with Rodney, whereas Rodney sounded abrasive almost constantly, but John could already feel a headache forming between his eyes.
"--would turn you into a newt, if I didn't think John would make me turn you back!" Rodney snapped, and John could just picture the eye-roll Chaya was directing at Rodney for that.
"Oh, please, you couldn't turn me into a newt if you wanted to," she said. "Everyone knows you made up that lie about your father being a devil just so you could terrorize the courtiers and make them stop asking you pointless questions. You're just a good guesser--"
"Oh, I am so turning you into a newt!" Rodney all but snarled, and John sighed before he pushed open the doors to the banquet hall.
"Turn who into a what?" he said mildly, and Rodney turned his glare towards him, face flushed and eyes flashing, mouth pressed into a thin, hard line of fury. John folded his arms against his chest and raised an eyebrow. "I thought we talked about this, Rodney. No turning people, especially royalty, into things."
"She'd deserve it," Rodney said, sulkily, and Chaya rolled her eyes.
John kept his eyebrow raised. "Uh-huh. Just like you deserve the Lady of the Lake's undying love and affection."
Rodney's scowl deepened. "Samantha just doesn't see how perfect we'd be together--"
"Oh," John interrupted, making his tone as casual as possible, "and Radek's in your tower again."
Rodney's expression shifted to one of surprise mixed with exasperation. "Again? I told him last time not to mess with my experiments. God, he's going to turn himself into a newt by accident, that idiot. He's supposed to be a knight and do stupid knightly things, not poke and prod things in my tower--" And then he was gone, brushing past John and muttering under his breath.
Chaya was silent for a moment, and then tilted her head. "Is Sir Radek actually in the tower?"
John shrugged. "There's a pretty good chance he is. The tournament begins tomorrow, and he always tries to hide for the week prior, so no one will try and challenge him to a joust. And the best place to hide in the castle is the tower."
She frowned at that. "Why is he a knight again?"
John could only shrug.
Rodney burst into his laboratory, and scowled at the familiar sight of a certain knight peering curiously into one of the numerous cauldrons. "Didn't we discuss last time that my experiments are dangerous and that you're not allowed in here?" he demanded.
Radek raised his gaze and blinked at him. "Did we? I wasn't listening," he said mildly. "Just as you do not seem to listen whenever the king tells you to leave Queen Chaya alone."
"How did you--" Rodney began, frowning, and then rolled his eyes as Radek silently pointed at the scrying mirror next to the door. "Yes, well, that's different." At Radek's raised eyebrow, he scowled. "I don't have to explain how it's different."
"Of course you don't," Radek said, voice just as mild as before, and then peered closer at the bubbling contents of the cauldron. "What are you concocting?"
"What? Oh, that's, uh." Rodney squinted at the lavender liquid. "I think that's for invisibility. Either that, or it'll kill anyone who gets a drop of the stuff on them." Okay, it was really the former, but Radek didn't need to know that. He needed to think that everything in the room was deadly so he would leave. "Shouldn't you be off doing knightly things or something?"
Radek looked suddenly sour. "I will be doing enough knightly things at the tournament, thank you. Two people have challenged me to a joust."
Rodney snorted. "Only because they knew they could beat you, since you're the worst knight around."
Radek looked even more sour. "Thank you, Rodney, for your support. I am well aware that I am not the best knight of the Round Table."
"More like the--" Rodney began, and stopped at the knight's narrowed eyes. "You really are wasted as a knight, though. You have the blood of the Seelie Court in you, you could have easily been a halfway decent sorcerer. Not a sorcerer of my level, of course, but a decent enough one."
"Yes, well, perhaps had I not been the son of one of the Six Kings, and had my mother not been forced to send me to the king to appease his wrath, I might have been allowed to dabble in magic," Radek said, dryly. "As it stands, however, I am a knight of the Round Table. Not a particularly skilled knight, true, but I do my best and follow the code of chivalry." He turned towards one of the other cauldrons. "What is in this one?"
Rodney blinked at the green liquid that was threatening to overflow. "Honestly? I have no idea."
John Sheppard = Arthur
Rodney McKay = Merlin
Chaya = Guinevere
Evan Lorne = Kay
Radek Zelenka = random knight (maybe a not-so-perfect version of Gawain)
Samantha Carter = the Lady of the Lake
...I can hear you laughing all the way from over here, Bubbles. Shut up. *eyes*
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2007-02-13 08:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-13 08:34 pm (UTC)Love your icon, btw. Oh, Rainbow Brite. :)
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Date: 2007-02-14 12:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-13 08:49 pm (UTC)enjoy *still laughing*
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Date: 2007-02-13 10:24 pm (UTC)*laughs* Yeah, and Sheppard as clueless!Arthur is fun. Wished I'd thought of this for Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, because Radek as Sir Gawain, Elizabeth as the lady of the castle, and Ronon as the Green Knight could've been FUN.
Also? You suck. *pokes*
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Date: 2007-02-13 11:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-13 11:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-14 12:14 am (UTC)what? shouldn't encourage you?
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Date: 2007-02-14 12:29 am (UTC)