Oh Le Morte Darthur

So I'm reading Le Morte Darthur for Medieval Literature. The Middle English is killing me so...I find ways to amuse myself.

THE STORY OF KING ARTHUR

Stepfather: "You pulled the sword from stone! You're king of England!"
Arthur: "...Me? Why?"
Stepfather: "Because God decreed it! Now go be king!"
Arthur: "...All I wanted was a bloody sword, and now I'm king. Crap. Bad day."
Kay: "I could be king instead."
Arthur: "No."
Kay: "...Okay."

The lords who don't want him as king: "Prove it!"
*Arthur pulls sword from stone again*
Lords: "...Shit. Yeah, well, bet you can't pull the sword from the stone in a week!"
*week later, he does it again*
Lords: "Shit! ...Okay, um, one month!"
*one month later, does it again*
Lords: "...Crap. Fine. Be king. Stupid sword."

Lords: "Wait, he's a bastard! He can't be king! Ha!"
Merlin: "Well, technically...Uther slept with her three hours after her husband was dead, but they got married thirteen days later, so, while he was conceived out of wedlock, they were married when he was born, so, er, not bastard. So there."
Lords: "...Shit."

(no subject)

*grumpy*

Now I really remember why I love SGA better than SG-1.

Because SGA doesn't keep killing my favorite minor characters off. *growls at S5*

Stop killing off Sam's love interests. I LIKE them and they've had interesting personalities, damnit! And stop killing off the other cute minor characters, goddamnit. Just. Stop. Killing. People.

*stomps foot and stops watching SG-1 for the night*

*sulkily goes to work on fic instead*

ETA: Comments contain spoilers for SGA's "Sunday."